he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
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I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
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