you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
