is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
