No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
