I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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