i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
