yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
