Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
