Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
