Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
