i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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