Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
