She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
