im about as happy as oj after his trial
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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