she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
