yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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