i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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