sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
