I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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