god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
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