oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
