at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i think i have two assholes
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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