he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
