if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
