I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
