If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
