so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
