What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
