I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
