I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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