last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
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