You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
