i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
