So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
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no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
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I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
You did what with his pubic hair?
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