Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize