I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
