my text book just quoted the cookie monster
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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