did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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