C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
