I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize