I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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