Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
