I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
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