She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize