I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
