My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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