2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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