hell yes lets make some ravioli
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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