In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
