so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
