just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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