Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Randomize
