We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
