I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize