Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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