hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
