question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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