It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
