Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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