i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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