Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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