In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
