i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
